


The Bakery Rule

by of_shadows_and_wolves



Series: Tales of Rye the Baker [1]
Category: Elsewhere University (Webcomic)
Genre: i love the elsewhere university sooooooo much, meddle not with the baristas for they will kill you, mention of jimothy, seriously just dont, without hesitation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 01:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13284240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/of_shadows_and_wolves/pseuds/of_shadows_and_wolves
Summary: No one quite knew why the bakeries were safe at EU. But then again no one complained either.





	The Bakery Rule

There are many rules at Elsewhere University. Some of them are obvious, others mundane, some downright bizarre (even for a school on a fairy hill). Always carry iron around your neck and in your ears. Keep salt packets in your pockets and in your shoes. Brand your fingers with silver if you want to see (or trade a few cat toes to Cat Eyes for a less painful and impermanent option). Carry food around for the crows and for the cats. Never accept a deal unless your need is dire and all aspects of the deal are fair (and just accept that you’re gonna get screwed over in the end). But the most not understood rule was about the bakeries on campus. There were two of them in total. One not not in the library and one on the very edge of the quad (sometimes anyways. (Other times it was near the pool or by the fountain (that also moved around a lot) or sometimes even actually in the young and old oak tree at the center of campus). These were what the students started calling “Twilight Zones”. Not because they were scarier than other parts of the campus (nothing on earth can be scarier than the hoard of shadow trolls under the computer labs or the weird somethings that sometimes pulled themselves from the pool when the moon was waxing) but because of how “normal” it was. Food was given freely most times or in exchange for mortal cash and their were no special additives or curses (well except for the caffeine that actually woke you up but no one was complaining about that and the muffins that were honestly like a safer version of crack). To add onto that bizarre fact there was no fighting in the bakeries; there could be no deals, no steals, nothing that would cause anyone or anything harm. Hell the godsdamn Gentry understood and followed this rule. The bakeries were places where everyone could meet. Gentry sat with science majors and broke bread together (sometimes the bread would literally break. But not like normal bread more like the way glass or ceramics break). Pixies and fairies met and talked about age old arguments or battles over steaming drinks of something red that was definitely totally hopefully not blood. Even the Bookwyrm stopped by sometimes and ate off of some of their extra menus that the staff had lying around. 

Speaking of the staff there was something off about them. Not off like the cat with too many eyes, or the girl that got along with the crows just a little too well, or even the black thing that roamed the campus giving teeth in exchange for plastic beads. They were not not human. Their hair was normal, regular browns and blacks and blondes. Their looked glazed but they were no different than any of the students eyes during finals. They had the right number of teeth and two nostrils and a mouth that opened up the right way. But something about them was off. They looked a bit too normal. Well normal the way that a porcelain doll looked normal, i.e. hellishly so. Everything about them was just a little too well done. All their movements were too mechanical that some believed that they were robots or automatons (some of the science majors sneaked in a metal detector but it never went off around them). Their smiles were some of the most unnerving though. Perfectly straight teeth that practically glowed with health but it never really spread to those painted on eyes. 

There was one tale about some unfortunate souls who broke this blessed place. A boy who was angry at a Gentry who had stolen his beloved from his arms while they were sleeping together one night. It was on this unfortunate day that the Gentry (a crystalline being with eyes that may have been slanted like a goats (no one could look at their eyes for longer than a moment before they started frothing at the mouth and spitting out gibberish words)) was seated right out in the open chatting to a very terrified looking student who clutched a salt packet with all the force in his very tiny body. The boy stormed up to the Gentry with a serrated knife clutched in his fist (it wasn’t quite serrated though, no know could possibly have serrated teeth that actually seemed to bite) and pure and unresolved hatred in his alabaster eyes. He threatened and raged at the Fey and in turn the fairy (for it was in fact a fairy (anyone with any sense could that of course(cause of the wing like indents on their back)) and a very strong one at that) pulled their hands into a spiked fist and hissed in a tongue that shattered all the glass in the building. But before either of them could act out on their threats one of the baristas stepped forward and without a single warning ripped both of their throats straight off of their bodies making their heads tople to the floor. In one fist ruby red blood dripped onto her arm and on the other liquid diamonds carved rivers down her fist. 

Both of the bakeries were closed after that for a very long time. It didn’t reopen again until the 90s (no one knew for sure though which century that particular 90s were in). Since no one dared to upset the peace or the baristas. Anyone who even tried were swiftly taken care of by either a Gentry or very sleep deprived student.

**Author's Note:**

> If you comment and kudos I will give you all the virtual hugs that you desire.


End file.
